There were so many emotions wrapped up in traveling back to Colorado this holiday season for the transfer of our little July snowflake. This was uncharted territory as we have always transferred fresh 3-day embryos, never a 5-day frozen blastocyst, with nothing more than POI (progesterone in oil) shots following the procedure. Things were already so different with our new clinic in ways that continued to teach patience but also to allow my body to heal and prepare for the big event. After a very successful round of embryo banking in October, we jumped in feet first and I did my best to “trust the process” (that’s some very applicable ALANON stuff right there). The protocol I was on for this FET:

Birth control (only in the beginning weeks)
Lupon 10 units
Vivelle patches, up to 4 patches as we neared FET and continued post-transfer
Baby aspirin
Acupuncture
Edometrin 100 mg
Progesterone in Oil 1ml IM (intramuscular)

The wintery view from our hotel window in Lone Tree.

I will say that even though I was incredibly eager to be reunited with our first little embaby, knowing I had the waiting period to take advantage of was strangely calming. It was the best time to detox, relax, and practice self-care to prepare my body. Infertility is a complete loss of control. But taking care of yourself can fulfill that need and calm the mind by giving a small sense of power. Plus, everyone tells you to “stay calm” which can be laugh-out-loud comical to anyone struggling with infertility. So by taking control of your health and wellness the result is, in fact, quite soothing. Here are the things I did to stay calm before FET and directly after. My small disclaimer is that not all of these work for or even apply to everyone. Find what’s best for you and stick to it!

Fertility Yoga
Nothing strenuous or crazy, just calm, easy and appropriate for the phase of my cycle I was in at the time. The yoga practice focused on circulation and directing love and blood flow to my uterus.
Acupuncture
While I have been doing acupuncture for years now, I was forced to find a new clinic due to COVID closures. I found an amazing clinic in Oklahoma City that I fell in love with immediately. Dr. Gumman was caring and sweet and very well educated with a long career and has had many successful fertility patients. He even knew of my doctor at CCRM and has treated other patients of theirs. He played fertility mediations while I rested with the needles which was likely my favorite part (well yes, since I hate needles!) I was prescribed acupuncture twice a week for four weeks leading to FET and while it was a little hard to squeeze in between work and classes, plus a long drive to get there in the middle of the day, I will tell you that I HIGHLY recommend this one. I felt so relaxed afterwards no matter how scattered I was going in. And the benefits to fertility are well documented.
Chiropractor
After eight hours of zoom class in a day this was definitely a neck and back saver. Go away tension. Release the demons.
Castor Oil Packs
Over uterus with a hot water bottle, not heating pad. Did this every other night (when I could) for about 45 minutes and only up until a few days before transfer. It’s so warm and relaxing I would sometimes fall asleep before time to take it off.
Morning & Evening Routine
Routine is very important to my sanity. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if you know your truth! When my day begins and ends in a nice, calm, orderly fashion, I am more at ease. Every morning I would have coffee in bed (organic water-filtered decaf with ghee, collagen, MCT oil and cinnamon) while I slowly woke up and watched tv #notamorningperson, take my supplements (and later in my cycle, a POI shot), review my planner and start my day. I was strict about bedtimes in the evening and would start preparing for bed every night erly with a shower followed by all the lotion and essential oils, a castor oil pack, and read a book with a hot cup of raspberry leaf tea a little before turning on a sleep story and closing my eyes.
Hot Water with Lemon
Once I started POI shots I became a little more strict about the decaf coffee and herbal tea and switched to hot water with lemon here and there. It became a warm soothing moment throughout the day, first thing in the morning (which is actually very hydrating after a long night of sleeping) or before bed which is also good for keeping your belly warm: no cold drinks = warm womb and healthy Qi!
Wine (yes, wine!)
I allowed myself a SMALL glass about twice a week (not in the same sitting) and only drank organic wine and ONLY until POI shots. It definitely helped with stress and after reading Kimberly Pesch’s post on eat.sleep.wear I felt like I had the green light!
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
This is a big one. And easier said than done. But once you start letting yourself off the hook and showing ME some grace it starts to make sense. I stopped feeling like that pushy email needed a response right away and made a “To-Do” folder in which I would file anything non-urgent and return to it soonest. I also didn’t let myself dwell on the things I couldn’t control or should have said or done. Hard to do? Yes, but worth it. I put my health and well being first and “showed up” only when I had the emotional energy for something and stopped telling myself I was a bad friend or daughter or sister or wife (okay, my therapist may have instructed me to do so BUT once I actually did this it was a weight lifted!). Going through infertility treatment takes a toll - mentally AND physically - and it’s okay to just do the best you can. This is likely the most important of everything on my list, and one that some have a really hard time accepting from you especially if you’ve always been a go-getter or people pleaser. But at the end of the day, holding your baby in your arms is the prayer that fills your heart and thoughts and is the most important thing. Allowing yourself grace and brushing off the things that you have no control over lays a blanket of peace over your life. Even if you aren’t TTC, this is just good living. And it’s changed me for the better.
Cozy Socks
I never went barefoot. Ever. It’s another way to stay warm and cozy and feel like I am doing my part for circulation. Plus I found some really soft and fuzzy pairs that are just plain heavenly.
Journal
Yes I miss some nights. And sometimes I only write what meds and supplements I took that day followed by a to-do list for the next. But sometimes I write down all my fears or prayers and that felt like unloading junk or creating intentions which was a sense of release I needed before starting anew the next day.

I also took a wheelchair through the airport. My doctor did not specifically require this, but I saw where a few other patients at our clinic said their doctor had mentioned that it couldn’t hurt. I was only a little sore the day after transfer, nothing crazy, but supposed to stay off my feet as much as possible. My husband was insistent about it also. The thing that spoke to me the most was where another (successful) patient had stated that while it’s a good idea, even though not required, anything that keeps you calm and eliminates the guilt and negative self-talk later is worth it. If you’ve been there, you know how invaluable that advice is. So, that’s how we rolled! It wasn’t until later that I realized a small part of Derick saw this as a fun adventure and a way to board the plane first. He also drives a wheelchair the same way he drives a car - a little fast and a little furious. We nicked a few corners and at one point he pushed me THROUGH a man’s coat that was hanging off the back of a high-top chair in one of the airport restaurants. I kept putting my feet down to steer and break (think drivers ed) which only made things worse. We may have argued and fussed a little throughout the process which caused people to stare since that man was being so mean to that poor girl in the wheelchair. But at the end of the experience I felt seriously loved and cared for by my sweet husband, in spite of his need to go fast. And I have to say, it definitely eliminated the worry about ALL of that walking through the Denver airport and feeling flat exhausted after traveling home the very next day following transfer.

I wore my new lucky Colorado socks that were a success for both retrievals and placed the small lucky clover my mom had made me in one of them; still have it tucked away in my sock today. I have a picture in this post.

Lastly, I had McDonald’s fries after transfer. I honestly looked forward to this so much, and they were delicious and 100% worth it. Superstition or not, it sure made me smile. Derick of course, looked forward to his transfer fries as well.

Of course one of the biggest things that always brings me comfort is reminding myself what Christmas is truly about. Not being able to be in our church physically has been hard this year, like for many others. But the story never changes. The miracle still exists. And the suffering that Mary endured in the bitter cold that night is real. All for us. Feeling loved like this always brings a sense of hope and gratitude, especially in the depths of the unknown.

I hope these things inspire your own FET preparations. I’m still doing my best to soak up the holidays and stay calm in the interim. Hallmark movies do help! I also booked an organic blueberry facial in the days upon returning home. If that doesn’t sound calming then I don’t know what does! Merry Christmas and may 2021 be filled with hope and peace.

Here are a few pics of our snow day in Lone Tree the day before FET. So fun!